


For Ordinary Reasons

by emef



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Crying, Hugging, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 03:14:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12356292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emef/pseuds/emef
Summary: Jared knows, rationally, that his bright red, tear-stained, puffy-eyed face is nothing to apologize for.





	For Ordinary Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to crucialandinert for the prompt, and to reserve for the characterization help. Unbetaed. Warning for kinda non-ending ending.

Gloria gives him a box set, a television show called ‘Skins.’ It’s a British show about teenagers. The title refers to cigarette wrapping papers, not that wrapping papers feature in the show at all. Her granddaughter really liked it, apparently, and Gloria thinks Jared might like it too. She’s thoughtful like that.

He schedules his television watching sparsely, to keep it special. Like a luxury. He bundles himself up in his bright blue blanket, drinks tea with extra honey, watches one episode at a time. The first episode, about a controlling, manipulative young man called Tony, is interesting and engaging. But the second episode - which Jareds only gets to a week later - is about a character called Cassie whom everyone thinks is strange, who is too thin, whose parental figures ignore her, and who copes with her adolescent life by experiencing delusions about reality. Jared is in tears within minutes of the episode’s start.

Jared - or rather Donald - has been told too many times to ‘STOP CRYING OR HE’LL BE GIVEN A REASON TO CRY’ to truly feel at ease about his own tears. But Jared knows that the physical expression of grief is healthy. So when he’s alone, when he’s completely alone and feels safe, he doesn’t stop himself from crying.

It’s cathartic. He watches the rest of the show and lets the tears wash over him, using half a box of tissues and clutching a pillow, telling himself he’ll change the pillow cover later. It’s good. This is healthy. It’s fine.

That’s when the phone rings.

That is - it’s when the backlighting of Jared’s phone flashes brightly and a text message appears. It’s from Richard. _I’m downstairs, can you let me in?_

Jared knows, rationally, that his bright red, tear-stained, puffy-eyed face is nothing to apologize for. The physical expression of grief is healthy and, what’s more, apologizing would just call attention to it. Richard is, presumably, visiting to ask for Jared’s assistance, not to discuss Jared’s visceral reaction to a fictional character.

But gosh, the look on Richard’s face when he sees him. It’s panicked. The phrase ‘deer in headlights’ occurs to Jared.

“Um.” His eyes are a startled steel blue. 

“Richard?”

Richard blinks and pushes his hands further down into his pockets. His arms just about disappear into his hoodie. He clears his throat gruffly. “Hey, Jared…”

“Richard? Do you need my assistance?”

“What? No - it’s - Erlich forgot chick peas on the stove. I needed to get out of there.”

The thought of Richard seeking shelter with him is… overwhelming. Jared’s voice wavers a bit when he says “Oh! Please come in.”

“Jared, no, don’t… What, um, why are you -“

“I’m well, Richard! I was crying for ordinary reasons.”

“ _Ordinary reasons_?”

“I was crying over a fictional character.”

“Oh.”

“I rarely weep.”

“Oh.”

“However, it is cathartic.”

“Oh. Ok.”

“Your concern is…” He won’t be able to finish without bursting into tears again.

“Look, Jared, I fucking suck at -“ Richard gestures at the space between them, like the concept of empathy is floating there. Like the ability to understand and share each other’s feelings is real but unfathomable that he can point at. “Is this - do you - should I hug you?”

“Oh.” Now Jared is the one to say it. “That’s not necessary.”

“It’s okay, I want to.”


End file.
